Women are looking for love, some men are looking for love but what is truly disturbing is how completely disrespectful the entire love thing has become. It is a jungle of selfishness, vanity, and abuse - both of others and of self.
I really believe the the true concept of love has been long forgotten and is buried somewhere deep within the universe someplace. Love scares me so much because I speak to people every day - it is my job - and what is see is atrocious!
I get it that two people must find something attractive in the each other for a real connection but people are way overboard with their expectations. That is only one issue. It is so much easier for a man to find a woman than it is for a woman to find a man.
First of all, people of both sexes seem to be very selfish these days. They don't care about treading on someone else's feelings or treating the person they 'love' like an adult. Women will be much more lenient when searching for a man. Of course they want a good-looking guy - or at least what they deem to be good-looking and that is fine however, most women will not close the door to other possibilities. Women will date thin men, fat men, balding met, ignorant men, disgusting men, etc. just because they are either desperate for their fantasy of being in love, or in most cases, they can see beyond what social status deems good-looking.
Most men however, even the very thin, fat, balding, nasty, etc. men, still want a Barbie doll. They want a build-a-Barbie as a prize on their arm. Most won't look past the surface and see the real beauty - the soul. So where is their soul?
I'm not saying that women are not that way. As a matter of fact, there are plenty of vein, ignorant women out there.
These days, you see someone hot, you hop in the sack, and then if they are good, maybe you will do it again. Then, who knows, maybe that will lead to something more. No one cares about what is important. THE PERSON. Everyone looses those good-looks and then all you have left is the person. But nowadays, there is a simple cure for that too - just move on. WTF? What is wrong with people?
I realize that lack of self-esteem can be found in both women and men but women go out of their way to keep it lost. This is just downright wrong! Women, wake the heck up. You make is so easy for a man to treat you horrible and to keep the social madness of being ok for a man to be a man - aka be a pervert. It is bad enough that society gives men a free pass to be disgusting disease-spreading sluts. Sorry men but this is the truth. It is ok for a man to be sexually slutty. Way to go, awesome, you go get em. NOT! Women, if you want a decent guy and you want him to treat you with respect then here is a little advice - DEMAND IT.
If all women stopped sleeping around so easily and demanded that a man treat you with the utmost respect, then men would have no choice but to do so. Otherwise, they would never get anything at all. Why is it ok for a man to refer to a woman as his bitch? Sure, I get the same story - that is just the word these day but we all know where that came from. How is this ok? Why do women agree to this behavior? And there is so much more disrespectfulness.
Just the music out there is so completely disrespectful and totally insulting to women. Why in the world would any woman deal with that crap? Have some damn self-respect.
And MEN - why wouldn't you want to be someone who your family could look up to? Why in the world wouldn't you want to be thought of a great person instead of a low-life pervert? Just to get some, for real? Isn't that desperate?
Another thing that is incredible to believe is how people seem to think that just because they are a couple, that suddenly somehow they own each other. We were born separate individuals and we choose to share a part of our life with someone. That doesn't make anyone property. It doesn't make it ok to be disrespectful or to yell at each other. Fathers and mothers can yell at their children but when in an adult relationship, what in the world makes someone think that for one second, it is ok to raise their voice to the other? They are not their parent, they are their partner.
Jealousy is another thing. If you have to feel jealous all the time than either you have the wrong partner or you need to learn how to control your emotions and learn to trust. Jealousy has no place in a relationship. You either love someone or you don't. Get out if you cannot trust someone.
Being in a relationship doesn't complete someone. You are already a complete being when you came into existence. You can only compliment someone's life. A person has to love someone for who they truly are. You can't mold and shape someone to your liking or for your benefit. If you have to do so, then it is not the person that you are with that you really love and therefor not worth the relationship.
Don't feel when you get into a relationship that with a little work, you can help this person to change their lives and all will be well - all you are asking for is troubles and more than likely a whole lot of hell before you get out. You can't fix people when you get into a relationship. If you want to help fix people, then become a psychologist and fix your clients but when it comes to your own love life - you have to love that person for everything that they are and that they are not.
I apologize for the people that do not fit into these categories of disrespect for either themselves or others as this entry was not intended for you. I also want you to know that I am just your average woman that is perfectly happy with my love status. I just counsel people on a daily basis and what I see, is horrifying. It is always the same old story with a little twist.
I just want people to start taking love responsibly because on this planet of complete craziness - all we have is each other. If we never start loving and respecting each other, where will we all end up? As I'm sure I don't have to point this out these days, but the people of this planet are already heading to hell - let's change that and YES, you - you can make a big difference.
Please spend at least 2 years with someone before you marry them. Get to really know each other and see their true colors. You will be happy that you did. If you have to rush into marriage to catch them - then this is a prerequisite to failure. If someone truly loves you, they will always be there. A piece of paper never held a happy marriage together.
If everyone decided to take responsibility for being an adult that is capable of profound love, then a relationship wouldn't be work, it would be bliss.
Sending love out to all of you.